Jerticus

We’ve Been Trying to Reach You…

Posted on September 30, 2021 by jerticus

Anyone who is someone has received a call about their auto warranty. If you haven’t got one yet, then don’t worry. It’s coming. On that glorious day you can ask to be placed on a do not call list (doesn’t work) and count yourself an official member of society. The inundation of spam calls in the recent years has created a boogeyman out of the unknown caller. We are driven to the safety of our contact lists and stare with a mixture of dread and disgust should anything but a name appear beneath “Incoming Call.” Whether it’s Instagram accounts promising fast fortune in the cryptocurrency market or beautiful women with Whatsapp invites in their Facebook bios (if only), this type of grift has made it’s way into our DMs.

I have been the victim of these daily annoyances, but the most recent perpetrator has piqued my curiosity. They have targeted my Facebook account and seem to be playing the long game in an attempt to build an actual relationship and garner my trust. Check this page for a daily update.

09/30/2021

Yesterday I was contacted by an individual who has a new Facebook account. There’s the first red flag. This person went on an uploading spree on the 20th. These uploads included links to Christian minded articles, inspirational quotes, and pictures of children who are ostensibly their own. It must have really tired them out, because they didn’t upload anything else until the 29th. So far, the conversation has been about work, where we live, and our marital status; there have been assurances of safety peppered throughout our discourse. So I am sure everything is fine. Of course, none of the information I have given is true. I have created the character of a customer service rep who’s girlfriend broke up with him because he couldn’t stop quoting Breaking Bad. I have never had a scammer wish me to sleep tight, or care so much about my responses. I feel wanted. I am not sure who has who on the hook here. They want to get to know me over the next week so we’ll see where this goes. Am I about to lose a bunch of money? Am I about to fall in love? At the end of the day is there even a difference?

Here are some screenshots of our convo. I am indeed a little upset that she did not care that my house was haunted…

10/01/2021

It’s such a fun game to try and strike the balance between wacky and plausible. Here are some highlights of our conversation since my last post. I am afraid that the request for money may come sooner than I expected. Once that hits, there will only be so much time we have until they realize they won’t get anything.

10/02/2021

Not much conversation today, but I am having trouble coming up with excuses as to why I can’t give them my phone number. I have made a goal to keep this going as long as possible. Their demands are increasing and I feel like we are getting closer to the “I need money” moment.

I wonder if they’ll find that name familiar.

They bought it! I keep thinking that they are going to see through it at any point.

10/03/2021

Things aren’t moving as fast as I’d like. I am going to have to amp up the crazy tomorrow…

Nothing could have happened to it. I made sure!

I only know two dance moves. I only need to know two dance moves. The Shopping Cart and The Lawn Mower.

10/04/2021

I got a little bit too cheeky today. I am not sure if have been broken up with since Facebook’s servers went down right at such a pivotal moment. It’s like being left on a cliffhanger during an hours long commercial break!

The spiders have even crawled into my dreams. I figure the recurring arachnid theme is appropriate since it’s October.

Did they figure me out? Find out next time!

10/05/2021

We’re back! We had our first fight and I “wrote” some poetry. I would say things are going well.

Real as in really touchy about being called not real?

If we have anything in common it is our distinguished taste.

10/06/2021

So a lot has happened today in a short span of time. The situation is still unfolding so I may not be able to post all the screenshots now. I almost got found out, pecuniary requests were made, and I think we might be close to the end. Here are some snippets of what is happening now:

Sometimes I love the bewildered responses.

Yes, I am proud of the pun and you can’t convince me I shouldn’t be.

10/07/2021

I tried to get the good ending. I really did. I just wanted to get one real moment from this interaction. They stuck with their façade until the end, a true showman. Thank you for the entertainment, whoever you may be (I KNOW your name isn’t Lori).

At this point, I had already sent a screenshot of a fake bank account with thousands in it. That comes back to bite me when…

I got called out on the discrepancy. I had to think of something fast.

I really hope this works. This person is always on guard.

And it worked! Whew. Wait a second, are we being honest about our relationship or our taxes?

And this morning, knowing that it had to end today, I went with a Hail Mary.

Despite my entreaty, they still refuse to budge.

So ends the saga of the scammer. It almost broke my heart.

In the end I really wanted to connect with more than just their proxy. I was hoping a heartfelt plea might convince them to set aside the front and start a real dialogue, but they remained unmoved. I am going to miss you, friend. I hope you find something better one day. Oh, and I reported your account.

Top 10 Games of 2015

Posted on January 4, 2016 by jerticus

I hope everyone had a great New Year’s and are sticking to those resolutions. Here is my top ten list for the games of 2015:

10. Life is Strange- A look into the vibrant life of a time travelling girl.

9. Dying Light- Parkour and massive hordes of zombies. Enough said.

8. SOMA- Eerily good graphics and terrifying sound combine with a heart pounding story to make a horrific underwater romp.

7. Undertale- Unique and quirky. Would have a lower spot on the list, but at one point it impedes backwards progress for no reason.

6. Her Story- A different perspective on gaming with a wonderful actress and a keen sense of mystery.

5. Rainbow Six: Siege- The struggle of a modern siege. Distinct classes make this game a team work experience.

4. Sunless Sea- A game made with powerful proficiency, deft artistry, superb writing, and a great world to explore.

3. Rocket League- A sports game anyone can love. Fly around the field to make breathtaking plays. It’s soccer with rocket cars!

2. Metal Gear Solid 5- Open world stealth infiltration. Good times.

1. HELLDIVERS- Join a random game or blast away with three friends. Epic and hilarious battles await within endless hours of straight up fun.

Cache and Burn

Posted on December 28, 2015 by jerticus

Amid the jubilee and festivities on Friday Mr. Grinch was busy toiling away in an attempt to bring holiday grief to the good gamers and gamettes. Those who logged on to Steam may have found themselves looking at the wrong information on their account. A Cache error caused the store page on Steam to display the information from other users, such as credit card info, Paypal information, and other account bound details. Rest assured, it would not display your entire credit card number and most identifying credentials were partially hidden, as per law, but users who may have panicked and attempted to change or de-link their Paypals could have put themselves at risk. While no damage was done, and the incident only lasted an hour, it is more than a little disconcerting to see no apology by Steam for the mishap or at least an assurance that this will not happen in the future. Valve has released a statement, but it sounds like more of a re-cap.

Updates will come as the story develops.

Annual Gamer’s Christmas Money Spending Guide

Posted on December 26, 2015 by jerticus

Warm fireside chats, lips bend into smiles and split into laughter. Bellies are glutted with a hearty Christmas dinner and hands are eager, pining to tear away at festive wrapping paper to the loot within. This is nice and all, but you know what you want, you want those alabaster envelopes holding the real treasure inside. No, not Christmas greeting cards! Cold, hard cash!

I hope you collected the truest Christmas green and if you have, here are a few games that you might, or might not, want to spend it on.

Metal Gear Solid 5: (On Steam Sale) Yes. High graphical fidelity and the powerful Fox Engine that delivers it. A high-end PC will not necessarily be needed to glimpse the graphical beauty of this game. A fresh perspective on the Metal Gear franchise, the open world gameplay invites the player to tackle the challenges of stealth infiltration in their own creative ways. It is a welcome change and one that improves upon the already strong Metal Gear formula.

Fallout 4:(On Steam Sale) No. This entry by Bethesda simplifies many elements that did not need simplification, most notoriously the speech system which might leave you confused as to exactly what kind of option you are choosing. Upon hearing of the 50 hour campaign, many gamers will think it an impressive number, but Fallout fans know that other titles in the series can hold the player for much longer.

Grand Theft Auto 5:(On Steam Sale) Maybe. Rockstar’s attention to detail and proficient satirical wit make this game a joy to play. Characters are unique and entertaining. The only reservation one may hold is the poor optimization. If you don’t mind occasional framerate drops then pick this one up, if you do then you may want to consider other options.

Helldivers: YES! In an age that find many developers attempting to push the medium forward into new territory it can be easy to forget that games are primarily about fun. Helldivers remembered and brings hours of raw, unadulterated entertainment as you and three other gamers as you fight off hordes of enemies that hate freedom. Fans of Starship Troopers will find themselves right at home within the theme of a this gun ho wartime republic. Boasting a humble twenty dollar price tag, this game is well worth the price.

SOMA:(On Steam Sale) Yes. With wonderful graphics, the eerie undersea world of SOMA is a sight that is beheld with awe. The player will be asked to make very personal and stress inducing choices. The narrative is engaging and the end will stick with you for some time.

ARMA 3:(On Steam Sale) No. This would be a yes if the official release of Squad wasn’t just around the corner. ARMA 3 features the most powerful and realistic war simulation engine to date. If only it ran with a modicum of playability and the AI wasn’t almost game breaking. Wait for Squad and then compare the two. Or play Squad now. It is in early access.

Undertale:(On Steam Sale) Yes. Do you want to go on a magnificent journey packed with memorable moments, lovable characters, and unique experiences? Do you want to only pay eight dollars? If so then do I have a game for you. Undertale is a not-so-hidden gem in the indie gaming industry and deserves the support of your money. Made by one man, this game is a marvel of narrative, gameplay, and creativity.

Merry Christmas!

Posted on December 25, 2015 by jerticus

I hope all you dear readers have a happy day today.

Writing 101 Final Poem Draft

Posted on December 24, 2015 by jerticus

I decided to get motivated to get someone to help me get motivated and I registered for Writing 101. Their daily prompts were wonderful and gave me the nudge to get my writing rolling. I want to thank everyone who will read this poem and who participated in this class with me, I read some of your poems and thought to myself “I want to be that good one day” and I hope to keep the momentum going so maybe I will be.

This is my final poem. I have been reading Lovecraft lately and decided to take each prompt as a them for the progression of my metered-verse story inspired by his writings. I have a problem though, I am struggling with the order in which to place the segments and as a noobie poet I am struggling with squeezing what I want into the meter I want. Any feedback would be wonderful and thank you for your time.

Blue is what will not be in the poem, but is just there to organize the themes.

Magic

There really is a lot more to living

than what perception informs.

Curiosity made a suggestion,

traitorous and seductive.

She proposed

that I dabble in that beyond

the five senses.

So I did.

I changed something.

I left footprints.

Do you notice?

Not like seeing a new haircut

on your best friend,

but like little belongings

around your home

shuffling around

when no one is there.

It is unnatural.

It is unsettling.

Reflections

That’s why

I try to avoid mirrors nowadays.

They are unpleasant to look at

when you are more than yourself.

The change blows strongest there.

Prickly winds channel

through that fragile gate.

I popped and thudded

and I cracked

the glass.

That’s better

Sleep

In my sleep I see places,

antediluvian landscapes,

where eerie thoughts live.

Colors dream.

Curtains are philosophy.

Logic is an alien concept.

In-coherency reigns.

Was that laughter or someone being born?

I should stop talking about it.

They know when you do.

Seconds

I met Time.

It was the most frightened

I have ever been

in my life.

He is not kind.

I saw what he did

to those he didn’t like.

He let them live forever.

Death is a gift.

Time is not kind.

Freedom

I wanted free

of wayward thoughts.

Disturbing, exotic.

One of them might lead

to me knowing the truth.

If you’ve met ancient things.

When you’ve heard eons speak,

in their horrified chitter,

you know enough of it

to know that you don’t want to know.

My eggshell reality is too frail.

The noxious yolk held back is

too apt to spill sticky realization.

It is too much for me to live.

That shuffling clutter

with its oppressive subtlety.

I would be free of it.

Oh, God, no.

What did I do to deserve

immortality?

I am a good man!

Time says that he thinks some may follow me.

He thinks mortals should not have tread where I have tread.

He says he is making an example of me.

I tried to argue with the brutal father,

but I know he is right. (This and the previous line are fallacy)

I deserve this.

He says soon,

I will speak

as the eons do.

I am still creating the farewell section, but the commons is closing soon so I had to post now.

Star Wars Is Back! For Real!

Posted on December 19, 2015 by jerticus

In 1977 George Lucas created not only an industry, not only a phenomenon, but he also created a a culture. Star Wars helped to spawn what the scifi-genre and its fandom are today. When one goes to see Star Wars they are not going to see a film, they are going to see Star Wars.

This vision and feel was lost somewhat with the pre-quels. I felt betrayed with the hackneyed wash the movies went through. It was strange, I didn’t feel like I was watching a full Star Wars movie. I could tell that Lucas directed it, but it didn’t feel like it had the same soul. Suspension of disbelief was a difficult thing when even the actors couldn’t keep a straight face at some of their own lines (Obi-Wan “Younglings” line in episode 2). I know the principle that the artist is entitled to his own vision, but I can’t shake the feeling that Lucas had disrespected his own creation. He didn’t exactly jump the shark, but he did miss the boat. Without Lucas none of this would be possible and I thank him for that, maybe his style just didn’t translate well into the later era, but it was time for a new order.

I wanted to review this movie, but I decided not to, because I am such a fan of the Star Wars franchise it would end up obscuring a fair analysis. Here is a simple perspective on The Force Awakens from a fanboy.

I went to the seventh installment last night. JJ Abrams held the legend in the palm of his hands and wielded the narrative expertly. The writing held that Star Wars wit, no Jar Jar Binks here (who thought he was a good idea?). I couldn’t contain my joy, I would watch and sometimes giggle to myself as childhood feelings resurfaced. The acting was excellent, I know the issue with hiring John Boyega: that Abrams allegedly hired him because he was actively looking for someone who was black and excluding actors of other skin tones for the role and while I disagree with such actions, I am glad it happened. John Boyega was absolutely charismatic, he flaunted the role with grace and he fit right in to the Star Wars universe. Just a side note, I know I am one to talk, but does John Boyega seem a little chubby to anybody else?

Even Admiral Akbar was there!

One will get deja vu while watching these films, and maybe it is just my fanboy talking, but I am hesitant to call this a bad thing. One more thing, the prequels had many inexplicable Deus Ex Machina moments which broke the atmosphere and while The Force Awakens is not devoid of these moments, they do not have the same effect, they feel far more natural and that is a credit to JJ’s directing.

Seeing old and new characters brought a smile to my face. Watching them and learning their personalities and struggles felt organic. The return of Han and Leia and those lovable droids drew applause. Watching Han and Leia hug drew the same emotions of knowing one’s parents love each other. It is a wholesome, warm feeling that permeated the theater. I left the auditorium feeling like I had seen an old friend and I knew…Star Wars was back.

The Ridiculous Six

Posted on December 15, 2015 by jerticus

Netflix is one of the sharpest shooters in the video streaming arena. It can make college dropouts and it can even make movies!

The media giant rode the Blockbuster killing wave of streaming services to the top and according to statista.com’s latest assessment the site boasts over 69 million subscribers.

Netflix, oddly enough, was founded in 1997 and has grown to offer a plethora of services such as streaming, DVD and Blu Ray mailing, and has also sprouted a competent production team.

Netflix can act as a dealer or as a creator in the media market. A few examples of productions headed by Netflix include House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and Narcos.

Recently, Netflix took another creative dip and churned out a comedy this December for all the good little girls and boys to enjoy. Was the moral struggle worth the prize? We’ll see in today’s review of The Ridiculous Six.

(All numbers out of 10)

Acting:

Adam Sandler rounded up his posse for this comedic Wild West romp. Familiar names such as Steve Buschemi, Luke Wilson, Rob Schnieder, the always welcome Vanilla Ice, and the surprise kid Taylor Lautner make an appearance, but seem to fumble with a script that was sillier than it should have been. The actors did their parts justice, but the the way that the subject matter is handled and often tactless slapstick humor made it hard for their real comedic talent to shine. An example of this is the puerile writing of Taylor Lautner’s character who emerged as funny enough in the trailers, but in actual motion the acting and the character were neither enjoyable or convincing.

Plot:

The “ridiculous” *WINK* writing predictably bled over to the story line. I understand that this is a comedy, but it just felt lazy. In one of the eccentricities of the real world, the art of comedy happens to be a serious business that takes hard work to master. The effort clearly was not present with a woman that had nigh exposed nipples bearing the Native moniker “Never Wears Bra”, the somehow superhuman main character, the fecal spewing donkey, or the predictable twist that will not leave you shocked.

Watchability:

There are laughs and good times to be had, but finding them is like panning for nuggets after the Californian Gold Rush; they are few and far between. This movie jumped the shark very early on with the aforementioned donkey. After that moment, there are many other cringe inducing scenes that fail to draw out laughter. Watching this movie is like eating a dry communion wafer, it really doesn’t taste like anything and it won’t go down smooth.

Final Score:

If you are looking for a memorable comedy then skip this title. If you are an Adam Sandler fan then there are more robust choices such as Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, or The Water Boy that will leave you far more satisfied. As far as the Ridiculous Six goes: leave it alone, partner.

GTX Experience: The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 SPOILERS

Posted on December 7, 2015 by jerticus

So a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (I am so excited for Star Wars) I went to a theater in Athens, GA. I went to see Interstellar. My first tip that this venue was unique among movie-going platforms was that you got to pick your own seats. A perfectly squared screen on the register snapped to life and displayed rows of grey and red seating arrangements. In one of my many pratfalls I attempted to depress the screen like a touch-sensitive device to select my seat, but when the woman behind the register asked me which seats I would like I became aware of my folly. Red faced, I told her my selection and we went to the auditorum. Plushy little pieces of paradise, the seats were soft and even reclined.

This same comfort, naturally being at the same theater and auditorium, was what I was afforded just recently when I went to see The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2. After making sure not to embarrass myself again, I made my way to our seats with my girlfriend. Two hours and fifteen minutes later not only was I as snug as a bug in rug, but I had just finished watching a really fun movie.

The movie itself was great and was a blast to see in theaters, but I have only a few remarks about it. Was there really enough content in the final book that it warranted two parts or was this a cash grab? Was there not enough content to warrant multiple installments to the the previous films? Furthermore, there is a certain scene which brings up a problem I have with many films. (SPOILERS) Peeta attacks Katniss and in the struggle that ensues one of their squadmates is pushed into burning hot oil by Peeta. The man is hoisted, screaming, into the air by ropes and we see his lifeless body hanging like a puppet on strings later in the movie. I am not saying that the plot should be changed, but there is little attention given to these tertiary characters after their demise which I find more tragic than the death itself. In HG’s defense, Peeta did express his regret that he “had murdered” someone, but many times these horrifying moments are forgotten seconds later. You will mostly find this in action movies when, say during a pursuit, cars crash and slam into each other and we are meant to think nothing of the innocents inside. They had families, man!

All this aside the entire trip made for a great Saturday evening. If you get the chance, go see The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2. It’s fun, It’s scary.

Boom.

PS: The popcorn was great.